There are a number of amazing leaders whose work is at the forefront of self-development these days. Some of our personal favourite being Brene Brown, Louise Hay, Gary Chapman, Stephen R Covey, Jay Shetty, Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Ekhart Tolle, Russell Brand, Tim Ferris, Elizabeth Gilbert and so many more. They all identify some key aspects to personal development that are key to the process and these are just some of the areas we explore in the therapeutic process;
Vulnerability – Most of us are taught to hide our emotions or run away from them. However, this only leads to pain and destress in the long run. The consequences are far reaching and continue to worsen with time. As we develop self-awareness through practises such as Mindfulness and through the therapeutic process, we explore emotions asking questions to truly understand what we are feeling and why we are feeling this way in a given moment. The process of vulnerability actually takes more courage then the misconstrued notion that suppressing feelings demonstrates strength. It is anything but weakness. What is great about vulnerability is the gifts that can be unlocked along the way. The ability to live a more authentic life, have deep connected relationships and living a more fulfilled happier life.
Identifying the ‘why’ that drives you – getting clarity on what you want in the long term and then the ‘Why’ allows the flow of the what and the how.
Embrace and learn from Failure. Successful people fail often, but they develop ways in which to build resilience and learn how to pick themselves up and keep going. This often involves investigating what feelings arise when you fail. When we you are criticized and when you are faced with fear. Are you angry? If so why? Are you angry at yourself? Are you angry at someone or something else? Why are you feeling what you feel? By approaching your feelings with non-judgmental curiosity, you gift yourself permission to approach your emotions in a productive way.
Focus – Learning techniques and practises to help you focus, be effective and declutter.
Live in the Present. Again, this is where another major benefit of Mindfulness comes into play. We are prone to worry, stress and fear about things that need to be done, things we were meant to have done, and things we have said and done. This can lead to high levels of stress and rumination. The ability to spend more time focusing on the present moment, helps elevate the burden of worry, stress and regret. It can help us calm our nervous system and quieten the noise of the mind to bring about greater clarity, peace and the ability to respond effectively to thoughts, feelings and situations. Something that is of significant benefit is the increased ability to challenge the negative, spiralling self-talk that often happens at times of stress, and approach it with a compassionate pep talk.
Seek Excellence not perfection. Perfectionism is often something that affects us at some point in our lives. It is the belief that if we live perfectly, look perfectly and act perfectly, we can avoid the pain of blame, judgement ad shame.
It isn’t about growth, improvement or personal development. It is about fear and avoidance. This is why the shift for perfection to excellence is of importance for self-development. Realizing excellence and uncovering the best version of yourself despite your flaws is a much healthier and inclusive perspective to true growth.